Ask a Tranny

Dear T,

I’ve felt my whole life that I should have been born a boy. I told my mom about it for the first time last month and she rushed me to a therapist thinking there was something wrong with me. The therapist reassured my mom that what I was going through was “just a phase,” but I really don’t think that’s true. What does it mean to be Trans? Is it just a phase?

Sincerely,
It’s NOT just a phase!

Dear It’s NOT just a phase!,

Really, it’s NOT just a phase! A phase is a temporary manner, attitude, or pattern of behavior: like wearing sandals for a year straight because you think it’s rad, sporting the Mohawk to stand out in a crowd, or the belief that your parents are pure evil for bestowing a curfew upon you. How you identity, view yourself, and relate to yourself from your earliest of memories is not just a phase. My mother had a similar “you’ll grow out of it” attitude towards me, but I couldn’t quite believe the idea that my need to put a sock in my pants to fill a void could be written off as being just a phase that I was going through, or that looking in the mirror and seeing a young man was going to go away just because someone with a Ph.D. dismissed it. A good way to think about it is that your mother knows she’s a woman --- but how does she know that she’s a woman? Is womanhood or manhood related strictly to your genitals? Is the process of human thought controlled by something other than the brain? Your brain will tell you who you are. The answer’s already there, and no amount of ’it’s just a phase’ is going to change the core construction of your brain and how you self identify.

Being Trans means a lot of things. The Trans community is incredibly diverse. I can only speak for myself when I say that ’being trans’ means having been born in a body that is not congruent with my mental state of being. My brain tells me that I’m a boy. My body did not develop as such - but my body’s development does not cancel out the fact that my brain tells me I’m a man. It appears that your brain is telling you something similar, but there’s only one real way to know: sit down, seriously think about YOU, and find your identity. You already know the answer and now it becomes a matter of accepting what that answer is. One thing is for certain, it’s not just a phase, and feelings like this never go away; they only grow stronger.

Dear T,

I just don’t understand it! For months now I’ve had to listen to my co worker go on and on about some Transgender activist group forming, and nonstop talk about Transgender rights this and Transgender rights that. I’ve been a witness to Gay Rights coming a long way in my time and to the gay community becoming a powerful community. So what’s with all this Transgender activism? Isn’t Transgender just a short way of saying ‘gay on the extreme’?

Sincerely,
What’s the big fuss?!?

Dear What’s the Big Fuss?!?,

One’s sexuality and gender are different subjects. They’re not mutually exclusive, and in no way influence one another! A person’s sexuality refers to the gender a person is sexually attracted to, whereas a person’s gender refers to the self perception of being male or female.

“All this Transgender activism?” I don’t think there is enough! Transgendered people are currently an under-represented group within society, often abused by discriminatory actions routed in a sexist societal overtone. Transgendered people are often discriminated against when it comes to employment, housing, personal security, and are many times not taken seriously. Health insurance companies use a Transgendered person’s ‘Trans condition’ as an excuse to deny them any sort of medical coverage or insurance. The legal system has let abusers of the Trans community off the hook with little, or even no, punishment for their actions. The issue of Transgender Rights, while interceded into LGBT Rights as a whole, faces its own difficulties unrelated to the broader LGBT Rights movement. It is both simultaneous and independent due to its unique issues in society. Activists for Transgender Rights believe in equal rights for ALL individuals, and it’s about time these voices are beginning to be heard!

Dear T,

The other night I caught my roommate chatting with some Transgendered people as part of an online support group forum. The next morning he told me that the support group was helping him see that he is Transgendered. Are “those people” contaminating his mind and trying to convert him? Am I going to catch what he has and become Transgendered too?

Sincerely,
I hope I’m immune!

Dear I Hope I’m Immune!,

No worries my friend, it’s not a disease. You can’t catch ‘transgender’ anymore than you can catch ‘the gay’. People are born transgendered, and it’s an issue that an individual struggles with throughout life. Some choose to suppress it for the duration of their entire lives; others know and express their identity from as early as the age of 2, with or without exposure to Trans-identified individuals. Your roommate has more than likely been experiencing these feelings for a longer period of time than you’re imagining, and is seeking out information to better determine his (her) identity and make sense of how he (she) sees himself.

When I was growing up, I was raised to believe that genitalia determined whether you were a man or a woman. This caused a lot of turmoil for me, because I saw myself as a girl, and always had from as far back as I could remember. I always felt that I was my sister’s sister; however, I didn’t openly express this until I was a high school sophomore and had learned that there were others like me in the world - people who had the same problems and were sharing in some of the same experiences as me. It took me well over a year to finally come to grips with who I was as a person, and to establish the fact that feeling the way I did didn’t make me ‘wrong’. By seeking out individuals that are going through similar experiences, your roommate may be trying to come to grips with his (her) identity, and to deal with a lot of emotions and thoughts that until now have been repressed.